Do you spend your time second-guessing your decisions?
Playing with a decision over and over again in your mind?
Or do you externalise the worry by canvassing your friends and family for their thoughts?
& when you do this, do you find that you are no closer to feeling 100% confident with your decisions?
That’s because you don’t become a confident decision-maker through overthinking or having backup plans or detailed decision frameworks.
Instead, confidence in your decisions is a skill developed through self-trust, self-belief, your identity and clear values.
I used to second-guess all my decisions. I would speak to my friends and family gathering their thoughts. This went on in my 20’s and 30’s. Then I started working with a performance coach.
I got clear about my values. This is the lens through which I make my decisions. Every decision has to fit within my values. You get amazing clarity when you do this.
I leaned into my self-trust and self-belief.
I collected evidence of every time I had a win or a decision worked out.
I printed out emails of parents thanking me for my help, employees grateful for what I had done, text messages and DM’s. I put these in my evidence box.
It’s hard to think you are a poor decision-maker when you have a box of evidence.
& then I revised my self-identity. I became someone who makes good decisions.
This was the final piece. You can’t outrun how you see yourself. If you see yourself as flaky, indecisive, or unsure, then you’ll always return to this default. But if you see yourself as someone who knows their own mind, knows what they want and has clarity, making decisions becomes a breeze.
We grow up with these stories about who we are but we can re-write them at any time. Re-writing mine, along with the other steps resulted in me having clarity, confidence and the faith that I know what I am doing.
So if second-guessing is getting in your way, start with building self-trust, self-belief,and knowing your values. Then create your self-identity for this new you.
The one who knows what they want.
& is confident in the decisions they make.
